wilderness 2: weakness…

The buzz wears off.

That initial burst of freedom. Embracing emptiness and finding freedom within.

All good. 

But not now. 3 weeks in. 

Emptiness now eating away at the very core of your being.

Doubts, uncertainty, fear…crowding to the surface.  All sorts of things that you’d buried deeply, but never really faced up to.

Weakness pervading.

Effort just to stay focused, to stay present.

Is it worth it?

I mean, this new way, this turning away from all those things that gave you reason and purpose…where’s the reward? 

All you see stretching ahead of you is more of the same. 

You look back and you hear those whispers again…

Come back…it wasn’t so bad, was it?

Weakness has no redemptive power. That’s the truth.

Isn’t it?

What if in that weakness the final vestiges of your self importance and reliance are finally, totally, completely stripped away?

Your nothingness is complete.

The breaking point is discovered. You are taut and ready to be snap.

But what if in that weakness, you find a Strength that is nothing that you’re in control of?

A Strength that isn’t about how good you are, how wise you, how powerful you are…

Strength that is interested in you. The core of you. The absoluteness of who you are, not what you want to show the world.

The weak, broken, empty, useless you.

What if that Strength sees those weaknesses as beautiful? Uselessness as potential.

What if this ‘project’ is a whole new thing? Not the past reborn, former glories rediscovered.

This week, the message is stick with it.

Be weak. Appreciate this new found freedom from worrying about having to be strong.  Enjoy being out of control. 

Allow a new sense of awe and wonder to sweep in, a realisation that all you have to do is be you. No-one else. 

You.

Catch up with people who love you for being you. 

Just maybe, however, you might sense the start of something important. Hold on to that. Whatever it is. Write it somewhere. Wht does it feel like? What are you noticing now that you’ve stripped everything back? What is your weakness revealing to you?

And then just be.

Some words of freedom:

My grace is enough.  It’s all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

4 thoughts on “wilderness 2: weakness…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s