day 239…

I remember back when Sephi was tiny and wasn’t a great sleeper how frustrated I used to get.  It was alright for the first month or so when I was off work, but as it lasted for almost a whole year it became deeply wearying.

The moment it all changed was one night when I was sat trying to persuade her to drop off in her cot.  We had this routine where we’d pat her on the bum to try and get her to sleep. One move and she’d be awake, lifting her neck up to check that you were still there.  I developed a my own thing where I’d pat her for up to a count of 300 (roughly 5 minutes) and then try and creep out.  Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.

Anyway…one night, after it hadn’t worked I was holding her hand.  It wasn’t the first time we’d sat like this, but for some reason it suddenly dawned on me how beautiful this was.  That she wanted to go to sleep holding my hand.  She felt safe.

Wow.

So…I can’t pretend I’ve suddenly lost all that frustration when Sephi takes ages to get to sleep…but I totally value this time now.

I guess that’s because I realise now that in just a few short years these moments will be gone.  Holding her hand as she sleeps. She won’t need her Dad in this way…but I know she will in others.

I know I’m a bit soppy…but these last few moments of the day together are incredibly special.

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