It’s quite an interesting experience, being where I am at the moment. Although officially not finishing with Exeter Diocese until 11th August, I had my last working day on Friday. So, one chapter of my life draws to a close, but the next one doesn’t yet start until September 1st. So, here I am, in a kind of ‘phoney war’ – waiting for something to start that I know is going to start, and yet not feeling all that different from how I’ve felt for the last few months.
I’m not good at waiting for things. I never have been. I’ve always wanted to be doing the next thing well in advance, and at times I’m sure that’s made me me pretty insufferable. However, this time I’m determined to enjoy this ‘gap’. I’ve got 4 weeks to go – I’m sure they’ll disappear quickly enough…but in the meantime there are plenty of books I want to read, plenty of things I want to do before school kicks in, and life becomes a little…shall we say…hectic.
A lot of what I’ve been feeling and thinking for a while now has been about enjoying today, here, now. Having my head up and looking around at the sights I’m walking past, rather than just squinting hard into the future. Being hungry for the ‘new’ isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but at the expense of having a sense of contentment for who I am and what I’m doing now simply isn’t worth it. I think I may have lived too much of life not enjoying ‘being’.
That’s not to say seeking to improve oneself isn’t hugely important. I think that’s the challenge of every day. Not just some distant thing in the future we grasp after – like reaching out to get a handful of mist.
So…here’s to ‘hanging out’. Here’s to stopping, breathing, recovering…however I want to describe it.
Let’s see what turns up…